The End Is Near!

After what feels like an entire semester of living on campus in class and work and holed up in the library studystudystudying and workworkworking, the semester is finally winding to a close. And for maybe the first time since I started college, I feel so good about how my semester went :). I worked my hiney off and studied and paid my bills and was broke and didn't have very many groceries at times and didn't do many fun things and didn't get to see my roommates or my boyfriend or my family nearly as much as I would have liked, 

BUT

I got good grades and got to know my classmates better and learned to cherish the times I did have with the people that mattered and didn't go into debt and learned how to budget and was appreciated by my boss and prayed a LOT and kept my priorities straight and didn't get overwhelmed and went on an AMAZING missions trip and served the Lord and stayed faithful to my promises...

and I feel really, really blessed. :)

After Night Came Sun

So, I found this post from WAY long ago. As in, the beginning of November.
Regrettably, I never posted it (what is wrong with me?!?!)
So just humor me with this one, suspend reality for like five minutes, and pretend it's the weekend of November 4, 2011. Which was the date of the concert in question. :)

____________________________________________

Tim, Steffanie, Zeke, Sierra and I went to the Ryanhood concert on Friday night! It was the release show for their new album, After Night Came Sun, and may I just say:

AMAZING.

There's a reason they're my favorite band. They played some old (favorite!) familiar songs from Sad and Happiness and The World Awaits, and then they debuted their entire new album (which, because they're super cool and I've met them, I got an advance signed copy of - I felt so legit!). 

Not only was it great to hear their sweet new jams, but spending the evening with my boyfriend and some of my closest friends after what felt like one of the longest weeks of my life was just what the doctor ordered. 

(In Gretchen Weiners voice from Mean Girls) 

It. Was. Awesome. 

Here. Educate yourself. 

8 Months

As of Monday, April 16, Tim and I have been dating for exactly eight months. :)

Now don't get me wrong- this isn't another sappy lovey-dovey gushy post about how great my boyfriend is and how great it is to be in love... those things are true, to be sure, but today I feel compelled to write about a different kind of truth. 

A real-life, real person, stuff-they-don't-write-about-in-fairytales kind of truth. 

Which is simple, really: love is hard. 

But in a good way. I'm learning a lot about love itself, and the more I learn about it the more I realize how little I actually know, which is okay. And I'm learning a lot about myself as a person, as a woman and as a follower of Christ. It's interesting really, what the combination of 1. having someone know you more personally than anyone has before and 2. seeking out the Lord honestly and sincerely, can reveal to you. 

Some things have been hard to face. I'll give you a few examples: 

I'm not nearly as kind [or gracious] as I thought I was. 

I'm much more selfish than I thought I was. 

I'm about as demanding as I thought I was. 

However, I'm starting to learn some really valuable lessons that are not only helping me grow in my relationship with the awesome man that God put in my life, but I'm sure will also help me improve on the other beautiful relationships I have as well. 

Whenever Tim and I have an argument or get into a disagreement about something, I always manage to turn it into something that's his fault or something that he caused because of something he did wrong. When, in reality, that is the worst perspective you can have on a situation. Ever. 

For reals. 

But I think one of the best things you can learn, especially if you're a woman, is to control your emotions and not let your emotions control you (guilty :/). I'm learning that minor issues shouldn't result in major reactions, and that a Godly woman communicates with grace and speaks with wisdom. It's really hard to remember to ask myself what I can do to improve in the situation, rather than lay blame on someone else for their wrong against me, but I'm so thankful to have all of the beautiful relationships that God has blessed me with, to be able to work and improve and seek after the things in life that are good. 

So, cheers to 8 months of love and laughter and tears and frustration and challenges and lessons and trials and triumphs, and cheers to this season of learning and being humbled and growing and giving and praying, as long as it may last. 

:)

"A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman- who is he that can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies and pearls."

Proverbs 31:10, AMP

So This Is Love... So This Is What Makes Life Divine...

Life is such an adventure. 

You learn and grow and mess up and laugh and cry and play and live. You experience happiness and sadness and joy and companionship and loneliness and wonder and confusion and realization... You meet people and lose people and realize how important relationships are, or aren't. You sing and dance and pray and read and watch and listen and just go along on your way, and maybe you get comfortable in the niche you make out of life. Things go wrong and things go right and you make plans for yourself that you think are the best plans, until something happens that you didn't plan and it turns out to be better than you could have imagined (jeremiah 29:11).

Like, maybe you fall in love. You meet someone, and bam. Everything changes. You realize the song that your heart is really singing, and you know that this is it. You know that this is that crazy thing they compose songs and write poems and make movies about; this is that crazy thing you always hear about but were never really quite sure that you'd find. And maybe it's not always perfect and fairytale-esque - maybe sometimes it's hard. But it is, at the same time, the most magical relationship you've ever found with someone that makes you feel more than you ever thought you could.

It's someone that gives you hope and the room to dream big, but still keeps you grounded in Truth. It's someone that believes in you more than you believe in yourself; someone who encourages you and and apologizes when the fault is theirs (and a lot of times even when it's not). It's someone who brings you ice cream when you're sad or when you're stressed or for no reason at all; it's someone who holds you close and kisses you on the forehead and makes your knees go weak with just a smile. It's someone who's honest and rational (especially when you're not); it's someone strong and firm and protective and quiet and maybe completely different from you, but fits you like a puzzle piece. It's someone who loves you unconditionally,  because they understand that's how He calls us to love. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-6

New Years Resolutions

So even though it seems like I'm a bit behind the curve on this (as in, pssht- it's already the 14th! whatevsies.), I'm actually not. It's actually been a very productive, resolute (ooooh) start to my New Year. I got a pretty sweet jump on 2012, if I do say so myself, and I'm determined to make some pretty sweet changes.

And not for the sake of just making New Years Resolutions.

Because I think that's silly.

No, no... I really put a lot of thought into this. I did some good heart-to-hearting with my Main Squeeze (yeah, you know, the Big Man upstairs (and yes, I'm aware that I'm not as funny as I attempt to be)), and, in all seriousness, I took a good long look at last year. And I asked God what I could do better, and what He has in store for me this year. Of course, He didn't actually tell me (in so many words), but I do know that this is a new year for change and improvement and, in general, the start of me beginning to really take hold of the good things He has for my future.

I am halfway done with college, you know.

This is very exciting :). So, in good-natured New Years tradition, I give you (drumroll please)

My New Years Resolutions

1. Read my Bible everyday

2. Pray more

3. Save money (there's lots of time for me to develop my shoe obsession collection after college)

4. Be more healthy (you know, eating right, exercising, drinking more water, the whole shebang)

5. Study more effectively (time management, people!)

6. Communicate with my parents better/more regularly

7. Go to bed earlier

8. Be more organized

9. Do my laundry every weekend

10. Enjoy the moment

Ta da! 

What are your New Years Resolutions?

Difficult: Hard to deal with, manage, or overcome

This was a hard year. 

I know I say this every year, but so many things changed. 

Actually, 

who am I kidding.

EVERYTHING CHANGED.

But of course, that always happens. Every year.

I suppose that's a good thing, though, to look back on a year of your life gone and see how much you've learned, how much you've changed, how much you've grown.

And in spite of all that I see that's different and that's good, 

I realize I still have so much to learn. 

Of course. 

Which is also good.

Because I think it's truly a sign of ignorance and immaturity to think that one has learned everything there is to learn.

Truth be told, I'm very happy with the way God has arranged things in my life so far.

[insert contented sigh here]

Not to say that things have been easy. Quite the opposite, actually. Every day I realize more and more that life... 

is frickin' hard. 

Love is hard. Obedience is hard. Patience is hard. Humility is hard. Compromise is hard. Change is hard.

But all of these things, as uncomfortable or challenging or frustrating as they may seem at times...

Oh, they're so worth it. 

I'm learning to find joy in laying down my life for the Lord. And even though that's possibly (and most probably) the hardest thing I've ever had to learn to do, I'm learning it. And I'm loving it. And heaven knows I'm so far from perfect I can't even see it if I squint, but this year I've rested so much comfort in the fact that it doesn't matter. And God has a plan.

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

Studying, Sickness, and Road Trips

Last week was one of the craziest, most miserable weeks

  of. my. life. 

I felt like I would never get through it. 

Weekend: Studystudystudystudystudy. Monday: 7-page research paper for Spanish due, Integrative Cellular Physiology exam. Tuesday: Molecular and Cellular Biology lab, Organic Chemistry exam. [Insert crash due to sleep deprivation + pms here]. Wednesday: Studystudystudystudy, crash. Thursday: Studystudystudystudystudy. [Insert more sleep deprivation here.] Friday: Molecular and Cellular Biology exam. 

Throw work and classes in there and isn't that just delightful?

A lotta Jesus and a lotta coffee are what got me through that, lemme tell ya. 

On the upside, I did actually get through it alive (whoa! who woulda thunk?) and I had the whole weekend to relax! Thank God. For realsies. On the downside, Tim's "it's just a cold, I'll be fine" got significantly worse, so I got to play nurse and take care of him all weekend. (Thankfully I didn't get sick too!) I finally got him to let me take him to the doctor today, so I am reassured by the antibiotics and corticosteroids they've got him pumped full of becaaaauuusee...

(drumroll please)

NEXT WEEKEND IS VETERAN'S DAY WEEKEND WHICH MEANS WE HAVE A THREE DAY WEEKEND AND WE ARE GOING TO PHOENIX!!!

(can you tell that I'm excited for next weekend?)

We are going up on Friday morning and we're going to stay at my mom's house, visit with Chelsea and Chris, and do all kinds of fun weekend-off couple sorts of things, like shooting and ice skating and good-food-eating!

I love spending time with Tim (you know, 'cause I love him and stuff ;) ) and being up in Phoenix and getting to see people that I love so dearly but barely get to see is going to make it exponentially better. Ahh yeah. 

I can't wait.