Tuesday, October 26, 2010

'Every day, You save my life'

Life has been so calm lately. Granted, my definition of calm is probably much different than the conventional, sunshine-and-daisies type of calm, but calm it is nonetheless. :) I'm always busy- working and studying are the conquerors of my schedule, and my to-do list resembles that joke about the Chinese reproduction rate (if all of the citizens of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction). Things get stressful and sometimes life gets extremely frustrating and DIFFICULT, but I'm learning to leave my sense of hopelessness in the dust and move through the things that come up in my life with more balance. I've always had a problem with feeling like I need to control everything (which is obviously quite unrealistic and rather unattractive), but it's so much easier to let that feeling go and do what I can, as best as I can.

I think that's always been one of the biggest things that I've been missing from my life: balance. I've always fought too fiercely, shouted too loudly, loved too deeply and run myself in so many circles that I couldn't remember where I started off in the first place. I think there's many reasons for that and many influences that got me there, but the extreme has always been my specialty. I'm glad to be able to sit here in reflection and think about that though, because it's astounding how much of a journey I've made from being that lopsided, boisterous person. Not that I don't still have so many things to work through and learn and grow as a person in, but it's nice to feel this calm.

I read the latest post in this blog a few days ago (the entry is titled 'My Hope is Found') and it really struck a chord in me. You can read for yourself and take away from it what you will, but here I will say this: It is so profound to be constantly reminded of how beautiful life is- you can see it every day, everywhere you look. Sometimes you might have to squint a little, but the beauty is always there. And just as Adam says in his blog, there is no greater feeling than to go through life doing the best you can to be as faithful as you can, so that as the end, when we stand in that brilliant light in awe of the most awesome, we'll hear the words "Well done, good and faithful servant."