As of Monday, April 16, Tim and I have been dating for exactly eight months. :)
Now don't get me wrong- this isn't another sappy lovey-dovey gushy post about how great my boyfriend is and how great it is to be in love... those things are true, to be sure, but today I feel compelled to write about a different kind of truth.
A real-life, real person, stuff-they-don't-write-about-in-fairytales kind of truth.
Which is simple, really: love is hard.
But in a good way. I'm learning a lot about love itself, and the more I learn about it the more I realize how little I actually know, which is okay. And I'm learning a lot about myself as a person, as a woman and as a follower of Christ. It's interesting really, what the combination of 1. having someone know you more personally than anyone has before and 2. seeking out the Lord honestly and sincerely, can reveal to you.
Some things have been hard to face. I'll give you a few examples:
I'm not nearly as kind [or gracious] as I thought I was.
I'm much more selfish than I thought I was.
I'm about as demanding as I thought I was.
However, I'm starting to learn some really valuable lessons that are not only helping me grow in my relationship with the awesome man that God put in my life, but I'm sure will also help me improve on the other beautiful relationships I have as well.
Whenever Tim and I have an argument or get into a disagreement about something, I always manage to turn it into something that's his fault or something that he caused because of something he did wrong. When, in reality, that is the worst perspective you can have on a situation. Ever.
But I think one of the best things you can learn, especially if you're a woman, is to control your emotions and not let your emotions control you (guilty :/). I'm learning that minor issues shouldn't result in major reactions, and that a Godly woman communicates with grace and speaks with wisdom. It's really hard to remember to ask myself what I can do to improve in the situation, rather than lay blame on someone else for their wrong against me, but I'm so thankful to have all of the beautiful relationships that God has blessed me with, to be able to work and improve and seek after the things in life that are good.
So, cheers to 8 months of love and laughter and tears and frustration and challenges and lessons and trials and triumphs, and cheers to this season of learning and being humbled and growing and giving and praying, as long as it may last.
"A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman- who is he that can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies and pearls."
Proverbs 31:10, AMP