New Years Resolutions

So even though it seems like I'm a bit behind the curve on this (as in, pssht- it's already the 14th! whatevsies.), I'm actually not. It's actually been a very productive, resolute (ooooh) start to my New Year. I got a pretty sweet jump on 2012, if I do say so myself, and I'm determined to make some pretty sweet changes.

And not for the sake of just making New Years Resolutions.

Because I think that's silly.

No, no... I really put a lot of thought into this. I did some good heart-to-hearting with my Main Squeeze (yeah, you know, the Big Man upstairs (and yes, I'm aware that I'm not as funny as I attempt to be)), and, in all seriousness, I took a good long look at last year. And I asked God what I could do better, and what He has in store for me this year. Of course, He didn't actually tell me (in so many words), but I do know that this is a new year for change and improvement and, in general, the start of me beginning to really take hold of the good things He has for my future.

I am halfway done with college, you know.

This is very exciting :). So, in good-natured New Years tradition, I give you (drumroll please)

My New Years Resolutions

1. Read my Bible everyday

2. Pray more

3. Save money (there's lots of time for me to develop my shoe obsession collection after college)

4. Be more healthy (you know, eating right, exercising, drinking more water, the whole shebang)

5. Study more effectively (time management, people!)

6. Communicate with my parents better/more regularly

7. Go to bed earlier

8. Be more organized

9. Do my laundry every weekend

10. Enjoy the moment

Ta da! 

What are your New Years Resolutions?

Difficult: Hard to deal with, manage, or overcome

This was a hard year. 

I know I say this every year, but so many things changed. 

Actually, 

who am I kidding.

EVERYTHING CHANGED.

But of course, that always happens. Every year.

I suppose that's a good thing, though, to look back on a year of your life gone and see how much you've learned, how much you've changed, how much you've grown.

And in spite of all that I see that's different and that's good, 

I realize I still have so much to learn. 

Of course. 

Which is also good.

Because I think it's truly a sign of ignorance and immaturity to think that one has learned everything there is to learn.

Truth be told, I'm very happy with the way God has arranged things in my life so far.

[insert contented sigh here]

Not to say that things have been easy. Quite the opposite, actually. Every day I realize more and more that life... 

is frickin' hard. 

Love is hard. Obedience is hard. Patience is hard. Humility is hard. Compromise is hard. Change is hard.

But all of these things, as uncomfortable or challenging or frustrating as they may seem at times...

Oh, they're so worth it. 

I'm learning to find joy in laying down my life for the Lord. And even though that's possibly (and most probably) the hardest thing I've ever had to learn to do, I'm learning it. And I'm loving it. And heaven knows I'm so far from perfect I can't even see it if I squint, but this year I've rested so much comfort in the fact that it doesn't matter. And God has a plan.

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

Studying, Sickness, and Road Trips

Last week was one of the craziest, most miserable weeks

  of. my. life. 

I felt like I would never get through it. 

Weekend: Studystudystudystudystudy. Monday: 7-page research paper for Spanish due, Integrative Cellular Physiology exam. Tuesday: Molecular and Cellular Biology lab, Organic Chemistry exam. [Insert crash due to sleep deprivation + pms here]. Wednesday: Studystudystudystudy, crash. Thursday: Studystudystudystudystudy. [Insert more sleep deprivation here.] Friday: Molecular and Cellular Biology exam. 

Throw work and classes in there and isn't that just delightful?

A lotta Jesus and a lotta coffee are what got me through that, lemme tell ya. 

On the upside, I did actually get through it alive (whoa! who woulda thunk?) and I had the whole weekend to relax! Thank God. For realsies. On the downside, Tim's "it's just a cold, I'll be fine" got significantly worse, so I got to play nurse and take care of him all weekend. (Thankfully I didn't get sick too!) I finally got him to let me take him to the doctor today, so I am reassured by the antibiotics and corticosteroids they've got him pumped full of becaaaauuusee...

(drumroll please)

NEXT WEEKEND IS VETERAN'S DAY WEEKEND WHICH MEANS WE HAVE A THREE DAY WEEKEND AND WE ARE GOING TO PHOENIX!!!

(can you tell that I'm excited for next weekend?)

We are going up on Friday morning and we're going to stay at my mom's house, visit with Chelsea and Chris, and do all kinds of fun weekend-off couple sorts of things, like shooting and ice skating and good-food-eating!

I love spending time with Tim (you know, 'cause I love him and stuff ;) ) and being up in Phoenix and getting to see people that I love so dearly but barely get to see is going to make it exponentially better. Ahh yeah. 

I can't wait. 

Long-Lost Blogger: Found!

ACK!

So of course, it's been month and months and months since I last wrote here.

Of course.

So much has happened! I will tell you all about it.

I feel that I also should disclose... I have an urge. I've been fighting it for a while, but the urge is getting much stronger...

I think I'm going to join tumblr.

I just think it would be so much more convenient, seeing as [APPARENTLY] I can't find time to consistently write in this blog. I guess I could just be diligent about it... but anyways. I'll alert the media (or... the handful of you who even read this, I supposed...) if it happens. which it probably will. 

Okay. Enough about that. I'd love to have a record of the wonderful, crazy things that have happened in my life since July, so I'll try to do it succinctly. 

 

July:  He happened. :)

 

Well, I mean technically this didn't happen until August. August 16, to be exact.

And it's been bliss :).

August: I started discipling three amazing girls, and to be honest... 

they're teaching me SO much more than I'm teaching them.

Here's Jaime. She's just the sweetest :)

Meeting with her has been such a joy, and I look forward to hearing about her beautiful life every week. You can follow her adventures here.

September: I got to spend tons of time with my dear roommate Steffanie and her family, and I feel like I got to know her so much better. We've grown so close, and every time I hear the Party Rock Anthem I'm reminded of our super special relationship ;).

She's one of my favorites. For reals. I am so blessed by her and I stinkin' love her to pieces. 
You can follow her adventures here and here.

Also in September, I quit my job at RuffaloCODY - which was so liberating! My position ended there amicably and I know I always have a job there to go back to if I need it, but it really cut out a lot of stress from my life and opened up my schedule so that I wasn't just
going going going
ALL the time.

Even though I still kinda do that... oh well. 

October: XA Fall Retreat 2011.
'Nuff said. 

    I am so blessed by the this beautiful family of mine, and retreat this year was particularly challenging. 


I'll write a post all about it soon, I promise.
Hold your horses!

oh and also... IT'S ALMOST HALLOWEEN!!! 

Molto Bene!

Today was absolutely marvelous- it was Cow Appreciation Day, which, in college-student-speak, means that if you dress up like a cow and go to Chick-Fil-A, they give you free food! Marvelous, I say! So that is what Sarah and I did! (Note the authenticity of the placement of my cow ears ;)).

I'm glad the guy in the cow suit wasn't out and about when I was there... I would have had a nervous breakdown. Haha.

Then, after that adventure, we babysat the Owenator before embarking on our next adventure, of the "enter-into-a-Greg-Byrne-contest-by-doing-something-ridiculous" variety!

So here's the sitch: I follow Greg Byrne, the Director of Athletics at the UA, on the Twitter, and he periodically has contests where he gives away free tickets and UA swag and such to the winner. Today, his contest was that whoever sent him the best picture wearing UA colors won four tickets to the football opener! So, being the true Wildcat football fans that we are, Sarah and I went all out and sent in this stupendous photograph, (for which Sarah had to chase down a random passersby to get so that we could be in the same picture):

In full face paint and under the Zona Zoo sign, take note! How we lost to some guy in a red UA polo who sent in his picture from Germany (big whoop), I have no idea, but I took serious offense.

Anyways, getting all decked out in full manner of Wildcat swag made me super excited for football season to start- Zona Zoo is gonna be insaaaaaaaaane! Bear Down.

But then, after the many other adventures of the day,

-babysitting

-watching a movie with our friend Kristen in celebration of her birthday month (I didn't think someone would be able to trump my own birthday week!)

-a visit to Pastor Dave's house to welcome the XA missionaries that are in town for VBS (and in true Italian form, he sent us home with enough leftovers to feed us for days! ha jk. But a lot!)

-a trip to Bookman's (where Sarah bought season 6 of Friends and I bought an Italian phrasebook!)

-watching said tv show and eating brownies

-teaching myself a page of Italian words out of my new book (Prima Lezione!)

I had a chance to have a little quiet time- much needed after such a hectic, people-filled, conversation-rich day.

And that brings me to the whole point of this post. 

Our lives change so much over the course of one day. In just 24 hours, we talk and we go places and we interact with people and we make choices and we share who we are with the rest of the world. So much happens in such a short time, every single day- whether you think your life is boring or not. 

And a lot of times - too many times, if your journey is anything like mine - we make the wrong choices and say the wrong things. All the bloody time. We're selfish and conceited and proud and loud and immature and we stumble. Just today, when I was at my pastor's house talking to him and a missionary from NAU XA, I realized Man, I talk about myself so much. Not that it's a bad thing to share who you are with others, but there needs to be a balance between that and being boastful or self-important. This is something I'm still learning, after struggling to understand the lesson for so long. 

Which is the point I'm really trying to make- as humans, we struggle with hard lessons all the time. We spend our entire lives trying to learn what's right and wrong, really, but even at the end of a hundred years of trying to be good and pure and righteous, we don't even get close to being like Jesus was- wholly selfless and compassionate and merciful and gracious. But the beauty in those ashes is that our God, who is so utterly perfect that it's almost crippling to imagine, loves us anyways. His love is the same no matter how many times we repeat the same mistake, stumble down the wrong path, or fall short - in any way. 

Paul Tripp tweeted last week or so that "The eternal rest of the Gospel is this- God's affection for you isn't rooted in your performance, but on Christ's performance on your behalf." 

How amazing is this: that no matter what we do or how much we mess up, that even in our imperfection, He still loves us just as much as He did at the beginning of time. I marvel at this on a daily basis, and it never ceases to amaze me or comfort me. 

"This wild God of mine, who knows my every thought and intention, who sees my every failure and sin, loves me." -Captivating

How marvelous.

I Hear In My Mind All Of This Music

I love movies. And I love music. 

And you know what else I love?

When you're watching a movie or listening to a song, and you hear some words that make you think WHOA. HOW DOES THIS PERSON UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING IN MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW??

Because sometimes... the stuff that goes on in my brain seems pretty nuts. I get pretty crazy sometimes... if I jiggle my head around enough you can hear the marbles rolling around the bits of my thought processes that still even make sense.

Or, sometimes (and this is my favorite!) I don't even know what I'm feeling- it's just a big mess of [blllleeeeehhhhh!] sloshin' around up there... and then I hear a song and it's like BAM!  

Ohhhh. That's what I feel!

It's splendid. 

Here's just a few of my favorite movie lines/song lyrics that have, at some point in my life or another, been exactly what I was feeling (which I often post on my twitter). 

"Give me nights of solitude, red wine just a glass or two, reclined in a hammock on a balmy evening" -Brooke Fraser

"When the world has fallen out from under me, I'll be found in You, still standing" - Brooke Fraser

"I hate it when you make me laugh- even worse than when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all." - 10 Things I Hate About You

"Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind... or forgotten." -Lilo and Stitch

"We can plan for a change in weather or time, but I never planned on you changing your mind." -Taylor Swift (She just knows her stuff, this one!)

"I could wait patiently but I really wish you would drop everything now, meet in the pouring rain" -Taylor Swift

"Don't be afraid to fall in love. It's the only thing that matters in life, so you just fall in love with as many things as possible." -Country Strong

"You stay the same through the ages, Your love never changes, there may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning" - Jesus Culture

"Ain't no rhyme or reason no complicated meaning, ain't no need to over think it, let go laughing; Life don't go quite like you planned it, we try so hard to understand it but the irrefutable, indisputable fact is... it happens" -Sugarland

What's the song that your heart's been singing lately?

Car Breakdowns and Summery, Sunshine-y Things That Make Up For Them

So today, in honor of summer and purely out of the fact that I have been so stressed this past week and just needed some good, high-quality R&R (and a massage just isn't in the cards anytime soon), I spent almost the entire day sitting outside by the pool at a friend's apartment. We talked, I got to know his group of friends, we tanned- it was a grand time! Besides having to go to school in the morning, it was the perfect summer day :) I managed to get a good bit of color, too, so now I can say I'm from Hawaii and not have people think I'm lying due to my paleness. 

Here was my view all afternoon :)

It's been quite a week for me, so I'm glad I got to indulge in this bit of luxury. I had a lot of firsts jam packed into just three days, and may I just say that in having to deal with those firsts (which I'll tell you all about!) I have confirmed that I do not, in fact, handle stress well!

1. I had my first car mishap - it broke down in the middle of my office parking lot :(

2. I had to pay for my first tow (and my second)

3. I put my car in neutral and pushed it to get it out of the way (it's harder than it looks!! I didn't actually have to do this- my roommate, who is quite a hoot actually, insisted that we try it! You can follow her random adventures here. )

4. I actually had to use my car insurance.
 

5. I had to send my car into a shop (scary!)

6. I had to pick my car up from the shop (the problem turned out to be a teeny tiny [inexpensive!] electrical issue, thank God!)

7. I got pulled over for the first time (I forgot to turn on my lights :( He let me off with a warning!)

It's been a crazy week.

Thankfully, I have things like the delightful day I had at the pool with my friend today and things like not having to take the last physics exam of the session because I got A's on the first three exams to cheer me up. ;)