For the record, and quite obviously might I add,
HAVING THE FLU SUCKS!!!!!!!
I've never been so miserable in my entire life. Thank goodness for antivirals, sleep, Sprite, and prayers!!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Sunrise to Sunset
I can't even begin to describe the amazing, amazing change that God has afftected in my life. I am a brand-new person, just as God promises to do when you take Him into your heart (again, in my case), and I am loving the person that I am examining myself to be. I hate to sound preachy or to have that holier-than-thou attitude that so many people do when they talk about their faith, but I have never felt such overwhelming joy or such overflowing peace before- ever. I've found true happiness, and I understand what it means for God to fill up the voids that are inevitable in who we are as human beings. I've really been able to see something so pivotally important recently- when you live your life in the world, you base who you are in material things: cars, money, iPods, books, houses, the people around you. But the thing about that is, those things fail. Always. Over time, upgrades come out, the economy gets flushed, ink fades, people change and relationships crumble. No matter what it is, everything in this world will eventually, in some way or another, fail. And that is why it is so so important to define who you are in God- because God is unshakeable, and no matter how many steps you take in the wrong direction, God is always there. And it is so indescribably FABULOUS to have these things be so real to me. That's the amazing thing about faith- you can't see it or touch it or grab it or smell it, but for those people who reach out and take hold of that gift that God holds out to us all, faith is REAL. Nothing else matters, except that God is real. From sunrise to sunset, every day. :)
Psalm 5:11
Psalm 5:11
Monday, November 9, 2009
Take My Hand
I feel so incredibly spiritually overwhelmed right now!! (And always, really... God never stops working!) Christen has been working on her sermon for her guest speaker-ship (?... What do you even call that? Ha) for a WHILE... and there have been breakthroughs and I've been able to give her snippets of advice that have given her little spurts of go-ness, but in all honestly it's been quite stop-and-go! I'm not even the one speaking to a roomful of high school kids, and I was nervous!! We'd had notecard interventions, random thought marathons, and all other manner of idea-clusters, but nothing was clicking for her with this sermon.
Until today. I went over to sit with her for a little while this morning by the fountain, and she was seriously freaking out! Ness ensued, and then we came up with this brilliant idea: stop trying to write the bloody sermon. God speaks through us to say the words He wants us to say... He always always always has a bigger plan for us than we have for ourselves, so why should we try make our own plans? It makes so much more sense to figure out what God is doing in our lives, and simply join Him. True, deep, meaningful human success is impossible without God--there is nothing we can do for ourselves that is better than the things God does for us, through us. Every single day, I am finding out more and more the extent to which I need Him so much. I have never in my life been more happy than now, than in this period of my life where I have completely opened my heart to His love and completely immersed myself in walking with Him. I am finding out that I simply cannot do, have, live, be, without God... there are always rough patches in walks of faith, but it is so easy to allow yourself to be pulled along on the path you walk with Him and be so sure that everything will work out, because why would God ever lead you into a situation that He couldn't pull you out of? I have never known so much about my life before... and all I really know at all is God.
Amazing, the thoughts that pop up from simple things like giving a friend advice, eh?
2 Timothy 2:15-26
Until today. I went over to sit with her for a little while this morning by the fountain, and she was seriously freaking out! Ness ensued, and then we came up with this brilliant idea: stop trying to write the bloody sermon. God speaks through us to say the words He wants us to say... He always always always has a bigger plan for us than we have for ourselves, so why should we try make our own plans? It makes so much more sense to figure out what God is doing in our lives, and simply join Him. True, deep, meaningful human success is impossible without God--there is nothing we can do for ourselves that is better than the things God does for us, through us. Every single day, I am finding out more and more the extent to which I need Him so much. I have never in my life been more happy than now, than in this period of my life where I have completely opened my heart to His love and completely immersed myself in walking with Him. I am finding out that I simply cannot do, have, live, be, without God... there are always rough patches in walks of faith, but it is so easy to allow yourself to be pulled along on the path you walk with Him and be so sure that everything will work out, because why would God ever lead you into a situation that He couldn't pull you out of? I have never known so much about my life before... and all I really know at all is God.
Amazing, the thoughts that pop up from simple things like giving a friend advice, eh?
2 Timothy 2:15-26
Friday, October 30, 2009
Chi Alpha...and the Amazing Things God Does to Your Life When You're Not Looking :)
So, I finally decided to go with Christen last Friday, when XA was having a big potluck. I honestly didn't have very high expectations, but it's like I got sucked in. The people are so incredibly warm and sincere and welcoming, and I've always said that I've never felt the need to share my faith in a big community like that because I've never felt pulled or called there. I never felt the need to go to church and learn more about my faith, or to purposefully surround myself with people who share it. I always knew that it was what I should be doing, but I never felt called be in that place. I didn't feel like I needed to go to church to have my own personal relationship with the Lord, so, as soon as I had any say in it myself, I didn't.
But XA feels so much different than any church or youth group or fellowship that I've ever been to (and indeed there have been many!). I feel so comfortable there, and I feel like God pulled me there on Friday night for a reason... that I really have so much to learn from and grow with these people. Tonight was the first time I went to EXP, and I was touched more deeply by the words that Oneida (who is one of the staff members at XA) spoke to us in that little room than by any sermon I've heard in a any big sanctuary in any big church, ever. I felt like she was speaking and teaching God's Word especially for me... it blew my mind. In those moments while I was listening to her teach about evangelism (which I've always been sort of shaky about) and about our roles as God's children, I felt such a profound sense of everything that has happened in my life since I moved to Tucson and I felt so aware of how God used it all to bring me to that one place that I found myself in tonight. It really is amazing. I'm not particularly sure how to clarify it, but it made me see that He really does have a purpose, and that I was always meant to come back to that place where I could completely, and without reserve, immerse my life in my walk with Him. For me, just having faith and just having a personal relationship with God has always been enough. Tonight, I realized that it isn't, and I am so incredibly excited about that :).
It really is a wonder... how, if you allow yourself to be receptive to God's love, He works amazing things into your life when you never expected it. There are things that I've found to have fallen into my life recently that I never realized I needed... and in all of these things, it is so easy to see the beauty of hope and how far grace will go. And with that comes a peace that I have never felt anywhere but in the Lord.
But XA feels so much different than any church or youth group or fellowship that I've ever been to (and indeed there have been many!). I feel so comfortable there, and I feel like God pulled me there on Friday night for a reason... that I really have so much to learn from and grow with these people. Tonight was the first time I went to EXP, and I was touched more deeply by the words that Oneida (who is one of the staff members at XA) spoke to us in that little room than by any sermon I've heard in a any big sanctuary in any big church, ever. I felt like she was speaking and teaching God's Word especially for me... it blew my mind. In those moments while I was listening to her teach about evangelism (which I've always been sort of shaky about) and about our roles as God's children, I felt such a profound sense of everything that has happened in my life since I moved to Tucson and I felt so aware of how God used it all to bring me to that one place that I found myself in tonight. It really is amazing. I'm not particularly sure how to clarify it, but it made me see that He really does have a purpose, and that I was always meant to come back to that place where I could completely, and without reserve, immerse my life in my walk with Him. For me, just having faith and just having a personal relationship with God has always been enough. Tonight, I realized that it isn't, and I am so incredibly excited about that :).
It really is a wonder... how, if you allow yourself to be receptive to God's love, He works amazing things into your life when you never expected it. There are things that I've found to have fallen into my life recently that I never realized I needed... and in all of these things, it is so easy to see the beauty of hope and how far grace will go. And with that comes a peace that I have never felt anywhere but in the Lord.
Oy, With the Poodles Already! (v. 2.0)
So many things have happened! Life has been buzzing by in a crazy blur... I don't even know where to begin. I suppose I'll just let it come out as it comes out... we'll call the rambling the creative license of artistic writing, yeah? ;)
Well, my mom closed the deal on our new house! She re-decorating/re-modeling/rambo-cleaning the whole place as I type... she's become a painting maniac! The house looks really beautiful, actually. She's doing such a good job-- I'm so excited to move in in a few weeks! Granted, I won't actually live there until the summertime, but still... yippee! And my mama is so happy with all the work she's done... you can really tell that she loves the house. She's put so much energy, time, and money into it and I know she's going to be thrilled once she gets everything all settled in. I'm so happy that she's been able to do all of it... having such a big project that she's been so dedicated to, that she really wanted to get done (and almost has!) has been so good for her, I think. And Mike, of course has given her everything she wants... he really is trying, this time, and I think things are working out so much for the better now.
Katrina moved out! Since we all know that I'm such an amazingly fantastic roommate and that no one could ever bear to leave my company (haha...just kidding), I suppose I should throw in that it was actually quite a good arrangement for her! She got a job as an RA in Parker House, an old sorority house that got disbanded, bought up by the university, and turned into an all-girls residence hall. She's doing quite a good job over there, and she really likes all the girls in her hall :). I'm really happy that she got presented with such an amazing opportunity, but I miss her like crazy! After she moved out, I lived alone for about a week and a half, which was a little lonely, but I rather liked having my own space! Then (and not for lack of the heavy use of my mind-powers to keep my room a single, might I add!=P) ResLife re-assigned a new girl to my room, Lisette. Things are going pretty well, I suppose. We get along fine, but she's not exactly an organized person, and that's a little frustrating sometimes... But you can't have everything! I'm just thankful that I didn't get stuck with some crazy psycho person! Can you imagine the horror? Ha.
Another momentous thing that's come into my life just recently that I am SO jazzed about is Chi Alpha. Nooooo- NOT a sorority, people! (That ish is just way too silly for my taste...) It's this Christian fellowship community on campus, and Christen (with whom I have been spending unquantifiable amounts of time with lately! <3) has been trying to get me to start going with her since she started going, almost at the beginning of the school year. However, I have so much to say about XA that I decided to give it a post all it's own... it shall succeed this one. Stay tuned!
I was going to continue my catch-up on everything that's been going on that I've neglected, but my mind is filled with things I want to say about the XA post that I feel like writing that one :). If I think of other important things, they'll definitely come in later blogs.
For now, adieu.
Well, my mom closed the deal on our new house! She re-decorating/re-modeling/rambo-cleaning the whole place as I type... she's become a painting maniac! The house looks really beautiful, actually. She's doing such a good job-- I'm so excited to move in in a few weeks! Granted, I won't actually live there until the summertime, but still... yippee! And my mama is so happy with all the work she's done... you can really tell that she loves the house. She's put so much energy, time, and money into it and I know she's going to be thrilled once she gets everything all settled in. I'm so happy that she's been able to do all of it... having such a big project that she's been so dedicated to, that she really wanted to get done (and almost has!) has been so good for her, I think. And Mike, of course has given her everything she wants... he really is trying, this time, and I think things are working out so much for the better now.
Katrina moved out! Since we all know that I'm such an amazingly fantastic roommate and that no one could ever bear to leave my company (haha...just kidding), I suppose I should throw in that it was actually quite a good arrangement for her! She got a job as an RA in Parker House, an old sorority house that got disbanded, bought up by the university, and turned into an all-girls residence hall. She's doing quite a good job over there, and she really likes all the girls in her hall :). I'm really happy that she got presented with such an amazing opportunity, but I miss her like crazy! After she moved out, I lived alone for about a week and a half, which was a little lonely, but I rather liked having my own space! Then (and not for lack of the heavy use of my mind-powers to keep my room a single, might I add!=P) ResLife re-assigned a new girl to my room, Lisette. Things are going pretty well, I suppose. We get along fine, but she's not exactly an organized person, and that's a little frustrating sometimes... But you can't have everything! I'm just thankful that I didn't get stuck with some crazy psycho person! Can you imagine the horror? Ha.
Another momentous thing that's come into my life just recently that I am SO jazzed about is Chi Alpha. Nooooo- NOT a sorority, people! (That ish is just way too silly for my taste...) It's this Christian fellowship community on campus, and Christen (with whom I have been spending unquantifiable amounts of time with lately! <3) has been trying to get me to start going with her since she started going, almost at the beginning of the school year. However, I have so much to say about XA that I decided to give it a post all it's own... it shall succeed this one. Stay tuned!
I was going to continue my catch-up on everything that's been going on that I've neglected, but my mind is filled with things I want to say about the XA post that I feel like writing that one :). If I think of other important things, they'll definitely come in later blogs.
For now, adieu.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Oy, With the Poodles Already!
It's been too too long since I've chronicled my life's crazy adventures... I'm working on that right now! New, informative update-post will be up soonsoonsoon... I promise! :)
Monday, September 21, 2009
Ahhh... SUCH a crazy good weekend! I don't even know where to start. Katrina's friend Arnie came into town from Douglass on Friday, and after they spent the entire afternoon together, the three of us all went to Coldstone!! I can't even remember the last time I had ice cream from Coldstone... it was very satisfying!! Ha... Meeting Arnie went fine enough, and after Coldstone he hung around the dorm for a whle. We all played Phase 10 (at which I dominated, may I say ;D), and Katrina and I went to bed seriously excited for the weekend we had planned :).
After sleeping in much longer than intended on Saturday, Katrina and I met up with Arnie, who took us to the Tucson Mall! I delighted myself with the purchase of a new pair of Vans and a couple of new tops from Forever 21... then, after a much hurried exit from the mall, we headed to Target to do some essentials shopping, after which we rushed back to the dorm so Katrina and I could change and make it back to Broadway to be on time for our 7:30 pm reservaton at the Macaroni Grill... of course, we were fifteen minutes late. Haha. We met Katrina and Arnie's friends there for dinner, Luis and Maritza. I was a little nervous about the whole dinner arrangement... I felt like I was going to be the one big city girl in a group of people who all came from the same small town. Anyways, they were so welcoming and accepting and we had such a nice dinner... their other friend Jon showed up just a little late, and it ended up being sort of like a triple date (unintentionally, of course)... Luis and Maritza, who are actually together (and SO cute!), Arnie an Katrina, and Jon and myself.
It was honestly some of the most fun I've ever had! Jon was incredibly attentive and sweet, and he and I had some very nice conversation :). All of us did, really... and then, when the waitress came after dessert (Oh LORD the tiramisu!!! Ahhhh...) and asked us how she wanted us to split the bill, Jon just picked mine up, so suavely, no problem! I was so shocked... that has never happened before! But as Katrina told me later and as I continued to learn throughout the night, those Douglas boys are real gentlemen. I'm still impressed by the chivalry of it all... but really, they are some of the nicest people I have ever met!
After dinner, we all headed back to our dorm, where I met up with Sam and Garrett!! It was so so so good to see Sam after such a long time (I missed him!!) and Garret too! Katrina and I changed out of our fancies, and then we all headed over to the bowling alley :). Sam, Garret and I rode in Sam's gorgeous Mustang- they gave me shotgun, of course ;) and when we got there, Jon paid for me AGAIN! I was seriously so swept away by him the entire night. I've never met guys who are such gentlemen before-- and that's how ALL of Katrina's friends are! But anyways, we had an incredibly amazing time bowling- Sam and Garret kicked so much butt I'm pretty sure no one in the alley had theirs left when the game was over. Haha... and I definitely found out that I SUCK at bowling! I even threw the ball backwards at one point... I know I keep repeating how much fun I had, but after being cooped up on campus for a whole month I think it's allowable. Sam and Garret left a little early, which I was pretty sad about, but I got a little better at the game after they left (ha!).
Around one, when cosmic bowling ended, Katrina, Arnie, Jon, and I all went back to Luis' apartment and just hung out for... well... a LONG time. Once again, I was astounded by the kind of guys these guys are! When we got to Luis' apartment, he was doing dishes and cleaning his kitchen! All of his rooms are very nicely decorated, and he keeps everything so clean and nice. I was VERY impressed. So we all talked and hung out and watched tv and other shenanigans, and just being out of the dorm and around different people was probably some of the best therapy Katrina and I could have had :). After getting to bed around, oh I don't know... 5:30 am or such (ha!) and having a tour of the apartment complex (it is SO nice... Katrina and I are considering living there next year!) Katrina, Arnie and I went to the Park Place Mall.
On a slightly less jolly note, today I was again reassured that God really does have such a specific plan for all of us... that everything really, truly does happen for a reason. I'm so thankful for those moments when parts of God's plan for you are totally and completely clear, and I only hope and pray that He gives us the wisdom to make the right choices to carry it out.
Anyways, it was an absolutely fabulous weekend :). New clothes, new friends, OFF campus, good food... it couldn't have been any better. Tomorrow (well, today, really!) I don't have class until noon, but I have my first Chemistry exam at five o'clock. Which I am going to ACE! haha...
Dobranoc.
After sleeping in much longer than intended on Saturday, Katrina and I met up with Arnie, who took us to the Tucson Mall! I delighted myself with the purchase of a new pair of Vans and a couple of new tops from Forever 21... then, after a much hurried exit from the mall, we headed to Target to do some essentials shopping, after which we rushed back to the dorm so Katrina and I could change and make it back to Broadway to be on time for our 7:30 pm reservaton at the Macaroni Grill... of course, we were fifteen minutes late. Haha. We met Katrina and Arnie's friends there for dinner, Luis and Maritza. I was a little nervous about the whole dinner arrangement... I felt like I was going to be the one big city girl in a group of people who all came from the same small town. Anyways, they were so welcoming and accepting and we had such a nice dinner... their other friend Jon showed up just a little late, and it ended up being sort of like a triple date (unintentionally, of course)... Luis and Maritza, who are actually together (and SO cute!), Arnie an Katrina, and Jon and myself.
It was honestly some of the most fun I've ever had! Jon was incredibly attentive and sweet, and he and I had some very nice conversation :). All of us did, really... and then, when the waitress came after dessert (Oh LORD the tiramisu!!! Ahhhh...) and asked us how she wanted us to split the bill, Jon just picked mine up, so suavely, no problem! I was so shocked... that has never happened before! But as Katrina told me later and as I continued to learn throughout the night, those Douglas boys are real gentlemen. I'm still impressed by the chivalry of it all... but really, they are some of the nicest people I have ever met!
After dinner, we all headed back to our dorm, where I met up with Sam and Garrett!! It was so so so good to see Sam after such a long time (I missed him!!) and Garret too! Katrina and I changed out of our fancies, and then we all headed over to the bowling alley :). Sam, Garret and I rode in Sam's gorgeous Mustang- they gave me shotgun, of course ;) and when we got there, Jon paid for me AGAIN! I was seriously so swept away by him the entire night. I've never met guys who are such gentlemen before-- and that's how ALL of Katrina's friends are! But anyways, we had an incredibly amazing time bowling- Sam and Garret kicked so much butt I'm pretty sure no one in the alley had theirs left when the game was over. Haha... and I definitely found out that I SUCK at bowling! I even threw the ball backwards at one point... I know I keep repeating how much fun I had, but after being cooped up on campus for a whole month I think it's allowable. Sam and Garret left a little early, which I was pretty sad about, but I got a little better at the game after they left (ha!).
Around one, when cosmic bowling ended, Katrina, Arnie, Jon, and I all went back to Luis' apartment and just hung out for... well... a LONG time. Once again, I was astounded by the kind of guys these guys are! When we got to Luis' apartment, he was doing dishes and cleaning his kitchen! All of his rooms are very nicely decorated, and he keeps everything so clean and nice. I was VERY impressed. So we all talked and hung out and watched tv and other shenanigans, and just being out of the dorm and around different people was probably some of the best therapy Katrina and I could have had :). After getting to bed around, oh I don't know... 5:30 am or such (ha!) and having a tour of the apartment complex (it is SO nice... Katrina and I are considering living there next year!) Katrina, Arnie and I went to the Park Place Mall.
On a slightly less jolly note, today I was again reassured that God really does have such a specific plan for all of us... that everything really, truly does happen for a reason. I'm so thankful for those moments when parts of God's plan for you are totally and completely clear, and I only hope and pray that He gives us the wisdom to make the right choices to carry it out.
Anyways, it was an absolutely fabulous weekend :). New clothes, new friends, OFF campus, good food... it couldn't have been any better. Tomorrow (well, today, really!) I don't have class until noon, but I have my first Chemistry exam at five o'clock. Which I am going to ACE! haha...
Dobranoc.
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